This morning when I opened my eyes, I came to realize that my bike trek launch is getting closer. He reminded me what He told me last night when I went to go visit a Pastor in the Hospital who broke his ankle and needed an operation. As I walked through the parking lot, the Lord said to me, when I was sick did you visit me?
I immediately reflected that I had not over the course of my life as a deliberate habit. In fact unless it was someone I knew, I never had. I then begin to think about the elderly in hospice care, veterans in hospitals, and teenagers at teen challenge. I was overwhelmed with conviction because I had plans to simply ride my bike to speak to people about “shifting to greatness”, not to directly serve people in need. Okay, nothings wrong with speaking, but that’s not really what God had in mind. He wanted me to serve those who where not expecting me, those who have nothing to offer but their wounded hearts.
Tears begin to well up in my eyes as I felt the compassion that God feels for people who are in pain of heart and body. I also felt the conviction of my selfish agenda visit me wave after wave.
Jesus said those who will be great amongst you let him be your servant. It had never been clearer to me before like it was this morning. It was a revelation that gave birth to this poem. My agenda for this bike trek has evolved to God’s idea of greatness: Servanthood.
Thank you Lord for your tender mercies towards me in opening my eyes to see what you see.
What propels me to pursuit?
Why am I doing what I do?
Where am I going to?
Who do I see in need other than me?
How can I grasp the greatness I so desire that evades my soul?
My heart fails to be satisfied
Though I…
Seem to possess so many things
I can’t seem to restOh God make me a servant
Break me from this misery of always doing me
So grand I think I am
So beautiful of a woman
So handsome of a man
I think
I think
I think
Only of me
ConsistentlySo many around me are hurting
You need my arms to hug them
My eyes to see them
My heart to love them
My feet to go to them
My mouth to speak to them…
Life, hope, peace
An assurance that you are near
That you care
But I’m too busy trying to be great
With my plans
Fighting for causes
That will eventually come to an end
Pride riding me
Money is tempting me
The flesh has me spinning with pleasure rides to no where
Leaving my heart emptier than yesterday
Tasting the bitterness of judgment of myself and others with tears running down my face
My stubborn will
My religious agenda
Keeps me pretending
Thinking my church attendance
Will justify me before you
I juxtapose
I rationalize
I compromise
Till I’m paralyzed with excuses
I am not changed
I remain the same
In chains
I can’t seem to break off my heart
I’m simply petrified of letting go
Of letting you be….
God
Make me a servant
I yield my heart
I surrender my possessions
I give up my position
To be used as your friend for good
It is the only way I can experience greatness
Through your kingdom
I’m starting to get it
Finally
Oh, let not this moment pass me by
For now, I’m beginning to realize
Those who will be great
Must be the lease
It is then I will be blessed
Within my heart
Upon my soul
An unspeakable joy
I surrender my life
As a servant to greatness
For thee